David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
