He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
