ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I want a musical about memes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
