GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize