Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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