That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
