Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
