oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
