she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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