i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
