I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
