My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
