it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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