i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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