Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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