shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
