At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
