Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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