is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize