If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
