I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
