...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
