please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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