This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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