Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
