Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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