guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
