I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize