READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
