NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Small penises have feelings too.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
