note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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