I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize