question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
