Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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