This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
