it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
