You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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