Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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