I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
