he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize