I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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