There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
