love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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