You're so nebulous sometimes
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
