i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
