Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
