i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
