Where is the hickey?
wanna go halves on a baby?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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