is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
