I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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