Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize