the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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