fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
