Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
