What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
