i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize