Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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