Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize