is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Enjoy the penises
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